Ed. note: Given the number of responses still coming in on the first post, I'm thinking I might be moving too fast. Here's what we'll try: one post per week, put up on Monday. Simple, direct and easy to check. Let me know if that seems like a good strategy.
(courtesy of Gaton Monescu)
Okay, you have your mixtape, you have your food, and you are beginning to settle in for a solitary life on a lonely desert island. As you sit tossing empty coconut shells into the ocean surf, your mind begins to wander over your past life: your home, your friends, your job, things you used to have, things you used to love...and as your mixtape turns over to the blank side, you think for the first time: maybe this isn't so bad. What 5 things wouldn't you miss if you were stranded on a desert island? I'll leave the question at that--you can answer it however you like.
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This could be a long list- only 5?
ReplyDelete1. Money- Money, bills, etc. Never enough money, always too many bills- won't miss it. On this island, I like the idea that whatever I can get my hands on, I can have.
2. Job- Sure, I'll be working really hard a lot, but I love abandoning the 40 hour work week nonsense.
3. Worrying about my appearance- I hope I have some items to keep up my hygiene, but my pet lemur won't care if I don't shave my legs for a week... month... year.
4. Alarm clocks- HA! Another sick invention; I sleep when I want.
5. Bowling and mini golf- Did the same idiot invent these 2 games? I hate them, but even more, I hate when people want me to play with them and my total distaste seems over-the-top. If other people were on this island, I'm sure they could reinvent both games, but I assure you, I will not.
1. Shaving my legs: that one legged-flamingo impression I perform with absurd frequency in a slippery inclosed space while holding a razor-- I won't miss in the least.
ReplyDelete2. Picking up the sponge from the bottom of the kitchen sink: It makes me gag with its squishy moist texture and its fetid moldy smell. See ya later, germ colony.
3. Reading essays with made-up words: Some days I can barely tolerate reading literary criticism, but I absolutely detest it when the writer invents some ridiculous word just to make the argument more opaque and therefore more critically important. I give passes to writers who are writing out of their native languages, but please, enough with your "problematizing" and your "trilogizing." I can think about perfectly good, middle-class words in my solitude.
4. Checking my bank balance--I won't need to endure any needless anxiety caused by numbers.
5. French class--I'm sure there will be something else in the utter tedium on this remote locale that will make me want perform the equivalent of jumping out of a window, but it least it won't be French class.
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ReplyDeleteMeredith wins this round. Kudos to your attitude, your alarm clock, your strange conflation of mini-golf and bowling, and your pet lemur. Keep that last part up.
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